I gave my girlfriend my Castlevania Lords of Shadow 2 game… Now I miss it. XD. I’m gonna go buy another copy tomorrow buahahahaha. And another for PS3 and another for PC. Yes I’m fucking crazy stupid. @_@
16 hour shifts for past 8 days… so glad today was the last day of work for this event. My body is blah! Luckily I got out with 3 bottles of Jack Daniels, 6 Bloody Mary Mixes, 2 cases of Redds Apple Ale, 1 case of Stella, and five boxes of Snickers. :) Now waiting for that big pay check.
Josie Bunnie quit doing nude modeling and live burlesque? O.o I don’t know what any of her fans opinion is but I for one think that’s fantastic. Her costume designs were what really intrigued me when I saw her perform a few years back. Once it got down to the staple burlesque outfit (or lack of), I was still intrigued but a different type of intrigue. It was hot as hell… yet I felt something was lost in that transmutation. Her model pics are very good… and while I can definitely enjoy the nudity… I still feel something has been lost. So I say good for her in her new move.
I have never mourned the death of someone. When people talk to me about dead relatives or friends I don’t understand them. I’ve had a great deal with death in my past to the point where I believe I’ve been desensitized. A few weeks ago… My girlfriend’s grandma passed on and I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t empathize with her. I couldn’t show support. In my mind all I thought about was… move on. Nothing you can do anymore.
Two nights ago, my cat Charlie went out the window into the backyard and got attacked by the dogs. I don’t believe they tried to kill him but they injured him really bad. We got him back in but the damage was done. He was dying… I’m sure he had a punctured lung as well as a few broken ribs. I drove to the animal hospital but poor cat didn’t make the trip. He died in my little brothers arms. Throughout the whole event I was calm and collected. I didn’t feel anything. Even when the cat died…. I was normal. He passed on. Now let’s move on. The next morning my little brother and I went on on a 30 minute hike to find a place to bury him. As we were burying him… That’s when it finally kicked in. I felt a sense of despair, a sense of loss. I swear it was overwhelming… I had not felt something like this in my life. But in that moment I lost it and I also kept thinking of all memories dealing with death and I got worse. It was as if though my brain had blocked all emotion for many years and had just now come to light.
Moving on to tonight… I still look at the couch where the cat would usually be only to realize he’s not there. He’s gone. I think I finally understand how everyone else feels when they lose someone. I’ve had cats die on me before… even when my grand father died I didn’t feel anything. This time however… i felt something I’ve never felt before. Maybe I’m becoming human once again. I don’t know. But whatever it is. I like it. I like being able to feel again. Whether it’s good or bad.
In any case…
Goodbye, Charlie. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you on time.